AffirSLAYtions

By Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker

It’s funny the things that we believe; lies that we tell ourselves, and truths that we are afraid to acknowledge can both hold space in our hearts and minds. For far too long, this was the tension that I lived with every day. Growing up in the church often made me feel like I was playing a role – faithful believer, devoted son, evangelist, leader. All those felt right at some point in my life, but none of those labels ever felt wholly accurate. I guess our spiritual journeys echo our personal journeys, with each of us stumbling towards our most authentic selves. 

I feel like I have been a Christian my entire life, having been baptized at just six years old. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know God. Just like I don’t remember a time that I didn’t know I was gay. That’s probably where my conflict began – knowing I had always been these two things, but the world and my church telling me I could only be one of them. So, we learn to hide who we are from ourselves and others.

What I remember, and probably always will, are the words directed towards me my entire life. Not words of love or affirmation but of disapproval, judgment, and even hate. A lie repeated enough will eventually become someone’s truth, so the lie that something was wrong with me became my truth. For years, I struggled in silence with the disapproval of my faith. Pastors, congregants, and evangelical media all told me the same thing – God couldn’t possibly love me as a gay man. Moreover, I was told that God couldn’t use me as a gay man. The Bible tells us that God uses the most unlikely people in the most unlikely ways, which has proven true for me.

I feel like I have been a Christian my entire life, having been baptized at just six years old. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know God. Just like I don’t remember a time that I didn’t know I was gay. That’s probably where my conflict began – knowing I had always been these two things, but the world and my church telling me I could only be one of them. So, we learn to hide who we are from ourselves and others.

Years ago, a youth minister told me that if you want to make God laugh, you should tell them your plans. I think there’s truth in that sentiment. The lives we have planned for ourselves are seldom the lives we live. Growing up in the church, I could never have imagined the life I now live. At the time, happiness as a gay man seemed like an impossibility. Today, I am a professional homosexual – I make my living working for an LGBTQ+ nonprofit organization. All of the things I was taught to hide or despise about myself are the things that I now celebrate. I was made to believe that being an effeminate gay man was not only unloveable, but moreover, it was a sin. What I now know is that the core traits of who I am are my superpowers. As a gay man and a drag performer, I have connected with people and had a more significant impact than I could ever have dreamed possible. My career as a drag queen has spanned almost twenty years, giving me a platform I never knew existed. I am a missionary in a wig and preach a gospel of love and self-acceptance. 

I’ve come a long way on my journey of self-love and acceptance. Following graduation from a small Southern Baptist college, I was honest enough to come out of the closet. I worked in LGBTQ+ advocacy and social justice work and began using a lifelong love of drag for fundraising, educating, and inspiring. Today, I am happily married to my husband of seventeen years and widely recognized for my work in Atlanta’s LGBTQ+ community. I’m the founder and executive director for Drag Story Hour Atlanta, part of an international movement seeking to share a love of reading through a lens of diversity and inclusion.

I am incredibly excited about the publication of my first book, AffirSLAYtions: Slay Your Day the Sugarbaker Way! This book celebrates the art of drag and aims to provide the kind of positive reinforcement I often found myself searching for in my younger days. My work will serve as a testimony and inspiration to others who may be struggling on their path. Roman 8:28 says, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to God’s purpose.” This book is proof of that – God is using the wholeness of my person for the most perfect work. I can’t think of a better AffirSLAYtion – can you?

Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker is the Queen of the South. Mother of the House of Sugarbaker, she enjoys volunteer work and making the world a better place.  Since 2017, she has served as the Executive Director of the Atlanta Chapter of Drag Queen Story Hour, part of an international movement seeking to share a love of reading through a lens of diversity and inclusion.  Her work has received global acclaim and has been featured on NPR, Logo, Newsweek, and many other news outlets.  She has performed at the High Museum of Art, the Atlanta Children’s Museum, and the Atlanta Pride Festival, and she was hosted by the mayor of Atlanta at Atlanta City Hall.  She has partnered extensively with the Atlanta-Fulton Public Library System and presented on this partnership at the Georgia Libraries Conference.  In 2020, she was recognized as one of Out Georgia’s Most Influential LGBTQ+ Georgians.  When not pursuing world peace, she is interested in world domination. She enjoys reading to children because READING IS FUNDAMENTAL. Her motto is “Reading Books & Serving Looks!” Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker is extremely excited about the release of her upcoming book, “AffirSLAYtions: Slay Your Day the Sugarbaker Way.”